Tag Archives: Rick Snyder

Recent Research Suggests Gov. Rick Snyder May Be Cold-Blooded

6 Sep

Gov. Rick Snyder may be cold-blooded, recent research has revealed from a local university.

“After studying his actions in office, similarities have been identified between Snyder and a common, venomous snake found in Michigan,” says Dylan Sanders, a herpetologist with Macomb County DNR, “Perhaps the most shocking was the propensity to eat his young to support himself.”

Scientists came to this conclusion after Snyder passed House Bill 4361, which cuts taxes for business by $1.8 million and takes the firstborn from low-wage earners. Macomb County resident and Waste Management Laborer Jim Blokee still supports his vote for Snyder. “Snyder promised job creation and incentives. I trust him.”

Blokee stated that while he cannot afford to put away for his daughter’s college education, perhaps jobs would exist for her in the future. “I know there’s no guarantee,” he said, “But if I have to take a hit so Carrie can find a job down the road, then so be it.”

Sanders is still in shock from the recently released results. “The evidence certainly suggests a strong resemblance between Governor Snyder and the Eastern Massasauga. It’s uncanny.”



About House Bill 4361: http://www.mlive.com/news/saginaw/index.ssf/2011/03/pro-union_demonstrators_to_pro.html

The Think Tank Behind Snyder: http://motherjones.com/politics/2011/03/michigan-snyder-mackinac-center


A $40,000 SUV: the Natural Choice for a Dying District

11 Aug

Sometimes you need to search for the incredulous. Other times, it hits you in the face.

A news article I just stumbled upon could have been found on Ripley’s Believe It or Not. Titled “DPS’ chief Roberts defends purchase of $40,000 SUV with district funds,” I doubled checked my news source. Yup. Detroit Free Press. Doubled checked the acronym. Yup. Detroit Public Schools.

The same DPS that is $327 million in debt? The one that’s closing half its schools? And what about that new budget?

Oh, that’s right. When the old guy failed to resolve the $327 million in debt in five years, we (or should I say the Honorable Governor Snyder, who took away Michigan citizens’ voting power)  replaced him with a guy who talks about $40,000 SUV’s as if every man, woman, and infant baby in Detroit could purchase one.

“”I’m driving the heck out of it.”

Haha! You’re a funny man, Roy Roberts!

There she is, Big, Shiny, and Oh-so-necessary.

Roy Roberts and his jocular manner regarding his new purchase with district funds reflects on his ability to act as DPS’ “Emergency Financial Manager.” The lone wolf (dare I use the word?) with ALL THE POWER thanks to Snyder’s new law. Did I mention he’s an ex GM executive? Oh, and his measly contract of one year only allows him a salary of $250,000.

How strange.

For more info on Michigan’s latest snake:

“Roy Roberts New Financial Manager For Detroit Schools”